Father's Day and the importance of Fathers.

"Dads are like chocolate chip cookies; they may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place." - Hillary Lytle

On the third Sunday of June, we as a world set aside our time to respect and honor the fathers in our lives. It is not a worldwide tradition and began with the Feast of St. Joseph, the legal father of Jesus Christ. Countries like Spain and Poland began celebrating the feast as a day to remember and honor all fathers in celebration of St. Joseph. Although it was mostly celebrated in the West, it struck a chord with the rest of the world and thus we celebrate the third Sunday of June as Father's Day internationally.

However, many people have noticed that Father's Day does not get nearly the amount of attention as other similar holidays such as Sibling's Day and Mother's Day. Most just send a small greeting to their father and most are completely aloof of the day. 

This is an interesting observation, as it is in the nature of the father to not expect rewards for his work. And this is reflected in the celebration itself. However I believe there is a bigger reason for this and it is not just an interesting anomaly but a huge problem for society.

The third and fourth waves of feminism have deeply vilified the patriarchal establishment. The why is a discussion for another day, but the vilification of the patriarchy has come at a steep cost to fathers all over the world. Feminism and neo-liberalism have made men the natural enemy and thus the importance of traditional male roles are put into question. 

This is especially true for the Gorkha community of the Hills as western ideology has deeply rooted itself in this society. This leads to the unwillingness of men to fulfill traditional male roles i.e. the head of the family, the breadwinner and the maker of decisions. With a higher focus on female empowerment, men have been left quite aimless. 

This villainization of men has led to there being fewer MEN. Males no longer pursue a stoic, chivalrous and family oriented life. Thus they do not have ambition and plans of the future. Instead opting to pursue other worldly pleasures such as cars, money, drugs and women. This is because of a severe lack of proper role models. 

The traditional male roles are seen as something evil that the patriarchy created to suppress women. This is the concept of "toxic masculinity". Thus all men who live it are villains, and all those who look up to it are also evil. This has led to a severe lack of role models for men as males no longer choose to pursue such avenues in life. 

In the Gorkha community we also see another interesting situation that arises. The severe lack of development and economical progress has made it more and more difficult for men to earn enough for their families. This leads to men working increasingly longer hours and sometimes even having to leave the town or country itself in search of jobs and money making opportunities. This has led to the formation of "quasi single mother homes".

The advent of neo liberalism in the hills has also led to an increase in divorce rates in the Hills. This has led to the formation of many more single mother households. 

I do not intend to throw any shade to all the hard-working single mothers who strive everyday to fulfill the needs of their children. However the importance of a father is tantamount in a household. Whether it be a quasi single mother home or a proper single mother home, the absence of the father causes massive problems. 

Mothers are naturally more forgiving of their children and shield them from the consequences of their actions. This leads to over protection and pampering of the child. When the child is protected from the consequences of all his actions, the child does not learn anything and very often grows up to be an immature spoilt brat. 

Most mothers of single mother homes also have to work to earn the bread of the house, therefore the child is usually left at best with grandparents or at worst alone and unsupervised. Mothers of such homes also find it incredibly difficult to juggle the strict nature of the father and the kindness of a mother while parenting the child.

Of course there are many examples of wonderful single mothers who succeeded in parenting amazing children. But for each such success story, there are many more unsuccessful ones. 

Both the Father and the Mother fulfill vital roles within the structure of the family. Thus it is very difficult to have a good family without a strong father figure. The father represents the strength of the family, the rock to which all others anchor. The stoic absolute figure that provides stability to all those around him. Who inspires us to journey ahead without fear as we have his protection. A father is strict and kind at the same time, the most serious and the person with the worst jokes at the same time.

It would be very difficult to imagine a life without a father, and I offer my utmost respect to all those who have grown up to be amazing humans without a father. It is indeed a sad place to be when such a stable and strong presence is absent.

Thus it is our foremost duty to protect and inspire men to be MEN. To encourage men to pursue traditional male roles and pursue ambition and family life with stoicism and vigor. The world needs more fathers on whose strong shoulders we can rest. 

Written by Ariyaan Moktan.